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Friday, February 17, 2023

Hell of a View

It was going to be a really good day. We splurged for an Airbnb at the base of the ski hill, and the snow was falling at a constant rate, gently piling up on the pine banister at our three day getaway, which wisped away in a puff as Mike placed the bottle of fireball back down, after passing it to Charlie, shortly after nine AM. We joked, but seriously, that today was the day not to be slurry. We decided to spend the morning snowboarding, just the three of us, as Kayla made the slippery drive to Hudson Bay Mountain as a witness and photographer. The weather was a balmy -3 and the powder that accumulated for the last two days made for perfect conditions as the edges of my board easily sliced into the snow as we carved down my favorite run: it began in a gully requiring sharp technical turns and transitioned into an wide open space allowing for me to gather more confidence to seek out jumps as we continued descending the mountain. 

Michael Bradley MacLeod, Do you Take Kirstin to be your wife, in equal love, as a mirror of your true Self, as a partner on your path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, from now into eternity?

I slurped ham soup that Mike put on the previous night, trying to settle my grumbling belly and watched as my most favorite three people in the world bantered and made jabs at one another; the vibes and chemistry was high. I was proud to have Charlie stand by us, who has witnessed the worst of me and I the same, and without question if I can’t get a hold of Mike, I call Charlie for help.  I asked Kayla to be our witness simply because I’ve never felt a love like hers’.

I had a quick shower while KimDeHoog, my makeup artist patiently waited for me. We were supposed to be back at the cabin by eleven, but one wrong turn meant another run down the hill to locate our place. It didn’t matter, we were holding up no one and something told me this thing wouldn’t start without us.

Michael Bradley MacLeod, Do you Take Kirstin to be your wife, in equal love, as a mirror of your true Self, as a partner on your path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, from now into eternity? 

Acknowledging the loss of some super cute chairlift photos, shrugging it off, we opted to change at the top of the Mountain, as the light wind transitioned into nothing less than brain freeze in a second hand dress and specialty suite straight from Thailand. Dressed in our best, we left the safety of the warming cabin and the wind greeted us. We trudged over to the area Mike had selected three runs and a few hours previously. I kept tripping over my dress and getting caught in the deep snow. Our commissioner, Mark Dehoog stumbled and fell face first just before we began, and naturally Kayla snapped a photo of it. At one point during the ceremony, as Kayla silently roamed around us, snapping photos and doing whatever she does to create those perfect photos, she sunk, waist deep into the snow. In a failed attempt to rescue her, Charlie sunk as well. It was so much fun; were surrounded by our people, the snow, and trees and it was a hell of a view, and then began the vows

Kirstin Dawn McNeil do you Take, Michael to be your husband, in equal love, as a mirror for your true Self, as a partner on your path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, from now into eternity Will you who witness these pledges do your utmost to support this marriage? 

As instructed, Mike diligently parroted every sentence that Mark so eloquently and lovingly created. As much as I loved writing, I had no confidents that I could put into words how I felt and what I would promise for life. Mike admitted afterwards he was terrified he would stumble over his words. My hair, the cold wind and Mike’s sturdy, knowing words all mixed together around just the two of us. 

I, Micheal MacLeod , take you, Kirstin, to be my wife, my best friend and partner. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, acceptance, and gratitude; one that withstands the tides of time and changes and grows along with us. I promise to challenge you and to accept challenges from you. I promise to love you in good times and in bad. I promise to treasure you. These things I give to you now and throughout the seasons of our lives. 

And then it was my turn and everything got so very real. This love contract is binding, the legal side, be frail, but between Mike and I, I was formally and officially in this for the long run. I originally thought we were already committed to one another, and some vow wasn’t going to change a thing, and perhaps, really it hasn’t. But when I looked up at Mike, his hands holding mine, giving me what felt like the last of his warmth, because it was so dang cold out, I knew this was also changing everything. 

I, Kirstin McNeil , take you, Michael, to be my husband, my best friend and partner. I vow to cherish and accept you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are both together and individually. I promise to love you when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to hold you in the highest regard. These things I give to you now and throughout the seasons of our lives. 

We are amazing together, and I love our life; We live it with our toes hanging off the edge. Mike says the longer we’re together, the less money he makes, the more he saves, I love that we chase life instead of dollar bills; he argues that he wouldn’t have ever owned two houses had it not be for me, and he’s probably right. But, I would have never found so much happiness away from traveling had it not been for him. So much of me would not exist if I hadn’t found him, when I couldn’t stand still in my nomadic life. 

And love hasn’t always been simple between the two of us. We’ve stumbled through determining where to live and how to live our life. Mike has allowed me to change my mind, and then change my mind again, traveling and that time we ski-bummed it in Smithers are only a few examples. Between his reckless tendencies and my anxiety that can take up the whole room and, at times, my whole life, we’ve been able to rely and support each other. I haven’t always been nice, and I’m not an easy person to be with, but nothing is more humbling that puttying in a drywalls hole due to over-handing a candle in anger and making a dent that probably should have been patched with drywall and not just puttied. It takes strength to apologize and clean up your own mess. It takes counselling and self actualization to unlearn this impulse. 


Mike please take the ring and place it on Kirstin Left Ring finger Mike to Kirstin -
 I join my life with yours, To cherish and to protect you as my wife With all that I am… With all that I have… I take you now and for always. With this ring I marry you. 

I’ve never encountered someone who pushes me so hard, be it outside of my comfort zone to take on hard and scary adventures.  Mike’s the first person who calls me out on my bullshit and won’t backdown to a fight. I gave him a piece of my soul long before we stood in on top of the mountain and declared our love, but there’s something to be said about vowing to the world that you’ll continue to love someone especially when it’s hard. 

Kirstin please take the ring and place it on Mike left ring finger Kirstin to Mike - I join my life with yours, To cherish and to protect you as my husband- With all that I am… With all that I have… I take you now and for always. With this ring I marry you. 

Mike called me one night, a few days prior to our snowboard trip (Aka February 2nd, our elopement date) and he hesitated when he asked if we were writing our own vows. He said that he had spent the last two days compiling thoughts and tripping over words, but could put something together. I told him, when I originally spoke with Mark he could throw something together. (Fun fact, I didn’t know him and Kim were married, since Mike and I were such hot messes, with renos, new jobs and life in general. One night, I creeped a few Facebook profiles and selected a Officiate and Make up artist whose wording, values and eye artwork I really liked, then messaged them individually for weeks until learning they were husband and wife the night before the big day). After many shots of fireball, while putting together $300 worth of appetizers, from the Monday my Dad gifted us to go somewhere nice, which turned out to be the kitchen of our mountain cabin, Mike said that really appreciated the vows, and thought Mark did well. He said when he was pacing back and forth, hammer in tow, while putting in flooring at our reno (I have no idea if this is true, it’s just what I am visualizing) thinking of what to say for vows, he thought of during the beginning of our relationship. Things were less fresh, frustrations were popping up when too much alcohol lead to argument of who changed more for the other. In midst to filling jalapenos full cream cheese topped with thick, expensive bacon, reminding myself not to touch my eyes or a penis until my hands were very thoroughly washed or bad burning things would happen, Mike told me that we haven’t changed for each other, we’ve grown together.

Truly, 

Ms. McNeil (Papers be damned, I’m keeping my own last name)

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.