Pretty [nice], Pretty [smart], Pretty [funny]

I dug to the bottom of my Rubbermaid Bin earlier this week, pulling out jean shorts, sorting through a few summer dress and hippy tops –  an assortment of seasonal clothing all based on weather, but also a previous life – I was looking for my Corporate Clothing. I haven’t pulled out these gems in over a two years, not since my Calgary days. I wasn’t even sure they’d fit, to be honest and as I tried on my dress pants, button up blouses and a pairs of bad-ass heals, there were a few items that were a little tight. Finally I found a pencil skirt and top that would do the trick. You see, I was attending a Planning Ten class at the local high school to discuss interview prepping, creating cover letters and revamping resumes. I wanted to look like I was visiting the high school and not as though I was currently attending it, so I knew I needed to Corporate Attire would do the job.

I walked into work all dolled up and it was like a science experiment. In the male dominated environment, the guys who saw me daily in my dress-casual (heavy on the casual) attire weren’t quite sure how to handle The [upscale] Girl. The comments were sincere, funny and mostly appropriate; I got told I look very professional, which I really appreciated. The Planning Ten course was a success, and my co-worker was spiffy in a tie and dress pants, so I thought we both played the part well. No one said that I needed to Corporate Girl it up. I get comments when I look more dressed up than usual at work, but there has never been a moment in that office when I was told I needed to look more professional, prettier or better dressed. It was my desire to go the Corporate Girl route in order to play the Adulting part, well.  And that's why this all got me thinking...

 

I’ll be the first one to be honest in this post. I care about my appearance; more than I’m comfortable to admit. I know that I’m "naturally" pretty, *hem hem* I genetically fit into North American standards well, but I also work hard to get this body. I love to run because I love the endorphins, but I also do it because I mostly like how I look naked. I do have body issues and I eat salads with balsamic vinegar because of it. Despite my inadequate bust line and my behind being in short supply, I’m happy with my body. 

But I hate how appearance rules most women’s lives, my own, included. I really would rather be called smart than beautiful, however, that doesn’t stop me as I relished in confidence when the guy at Tim Hortons called me beautiful as I picked up coffee the morning Corporate Kirstin stepped out the door and went into work. The fact that beauty is more valuable than a woman’s brain says a whole lot about this world we live in. The physical standards that are placed on women is barbaric and it kills me even more when I participate and even contribute to this norm. Does it make it worse what I know what game their playing and still participate in it? Well, it feels worse.

We're not dumb. well all know the game that's being played: With the astronomical amount of beauty adds that flash by us each day, the absurd standards of beauty displayed in magazines and overly sexualized movies scenes of young women portraying an older role - we all know this look is unattainable. So, why are we still playing the part and how the hell do we go against it?

There are little things I am doing to counter this beauty disease. I try not to force my nieces to hug me, especially the little one. I figure they should learn at an early age that their body is their own to do with what they want, actions or appearance wise. Although I’ll quietly tell Megan how cute her kids are looking, when I talk to them directly, I really try to tell them that they are nice, smart and funny. I want them to learn form an early age that intelligence is more valuable that appearance and they are Nice, Smart and Funny - not just Pretty.

I’m in the process of getting quite a few feminist T-Shirt created for myself to wear in the office, on dates and in the general public and perhaps some mini ones too, for my fleet of niece feminists.

Rarely do I shave my armpits*. I don’t understand why North American women are encourage so get rid of all their body hair, resembling pre-pubescent teens – I figure armpit hair is the most visible, so I'll let 'em grow.  I want to do more though, and I ‘m looking for some other ideas on how I can challenge these beauty norms. 

I'll reiterate, rarely do I shave my pits or other parts of my body anymore, and I’ve never taken off my clothes for a guy to tell me no based on a little body hair, and I feel that says something, but I suppose there’s still time for that, in which I’ll happily blog about that event with explicit detail.

Kirstin

"As far as I'm concerned, as long as men look at me that way, I'm earning my keep" - Betty, Mad Men

*I’ll happily post a photo shortly.