Hell on High Heels

“Your life. I’m laughing at your life” Megan told me in breathless fragments over the phone as she nearly peed her pants in laughter as I was telling her about my most recent escapade. I got home at 3:30AM after a night of silliness and dancing with a new friend. Hugo and I went for a walk, had a coffee and then Megan and I went kayaking - I just discovered a kayak on my property. I just returned from dinner and strawberry-rhubarb crisp (rhubarb from my garden) with some wonderful friends. 

 I never had a life plan. I never grew up thinking that by a certain age I would have specific goals accomplished, and I most certainly never thought that at the age of twenty-seven I would be so damn happy with my life. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and I think were three very significant moments in my life that has helped shape who I am today.

One. I’m not even sure how old I was, maybe thirteen, but myself and someone else, and I can’t remember who, went dress shopping. I remember trying on a particular dress that I was unsure about, and when I came out of the change room to check myself out in the mirror, the friend proclaimed that I had witches legs. It took me three years to start wearing skirts, four years to like how I look in them, and I’m still very uneasy in dresses. I’m told quite regularly how great of shape I am in, but I'm still unable to respond to these compliments with a simple “Thanks”. I think part of the reason why I am so obsessed with running and exercise in general and my plant-based diet (asides from the obvious pro-animal, thing) is my fear of acquiring more attributes to my body that I will dislike in addition to having witches legs.

Two. I was my second semester of University and my high school best friend, Morgan Mayer, suggested I take a Women’s Studies class, so I signed up for WMST: Gender and Pop Culture. I took one lecture to be hooked. It was as though for the first time in my life I was understood. I take great pride in being considered a feminist. I still encourage new university students to take a Women Studies course. It changed my life.

Three. For our grade twelve graduation celebration, we went on a camping trip. Mr. Stewart, everyone's old elementary school teacher, showed up for the trip to come direct some games we used to play when we were younger. I gave him a hug and he said to me “Wow Kirstin, I never thought you’d make it here today, and I don’t mean the grad trip”. This comment shattered me. This statement still causes me question my abilities in everything I do. I’m always surprised when someone so casually complements me on my intelligence. It seemed that Mr. Stewart didn't think I had any.

Machu Pichu, Peru

I’m one of the few individuals from my grad class who hasn’t had a pregnancy. I’m one of the few people who moved onto post secondary school. I’ve got a Business Degree with a Major in Human Resources. My job relates to my degree, and dare I be so bold enough to say I’m actually good at it. I took a solo trip to Peru and volunteered abroad, twice! I am a strong woman who is winning at life, and I can look amazing in a pencil skirt and a pair of heals. So Mr. Stewart, you can suck it!!

It’s the smallest moments that shape and change us. If I ask you what has been the most influential moments in your life, you would tell me it’s your wedding day, the day you met your spouse, Steve, the day Janae was born. I’m asking you to think about this again. Tell me what passing sentence, what comment, and what casual remark made you who you are today. I think after determining what these moments really are, you would become far more conscious on what you say to people and the lasting impression it could leave behind.

Kindly,

Kirstin

And this is the part where you find out who you are - Anonymous