Happy Thursday,
I was given a lottery ticket at work the other day for wearing
green on St. Patrick’s Day. It was a chaotic kind of day, an unruly morning and
a messy afternoon, which was a product of a power outage during payroll cut-off
and too many priorities. I was feeling overwhelmed and I could tell I was
giving off vibes of frantic disorder and turmoil. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not work
well under such conditions. This setting only leads to possible mistakes and probable
tears. I’m an emotional train wreck where I feed off of other people’s feelings. It can be exhausting to be me.
A new day approached and apprentice testing was taking
place. An employee and my colleague came bounding up the stairs and as swiftly
as yesterday’s anxiety lingered, it started to dissolve. I could actually feel the good aurora flow from this guy as
he told me that he passed his electrical apprentice test. This is a test,
he exclaimed, that would change his job, his situation and the life he knows it. Rather than high-fiving me as I suggested,
he gave me a hug. He left me grinning as I received an emailed from our head office telling me
that payroll has been successfully uploaded and I could freely enter our system. Walking to the photocopier I couldn’t
shake those positive vibes he left behind and my day ended with Pad Thai
lessons and local beer. Like I said, I’m an
emotional wreck and it can be exhausting to be me.
Perhaps that`s the way life works. Maybe good does attract
good. I went for a run the other day in hunt for not
one, but two pairs of gloves I had lost; one of those being my favorite knitted mitts
that I took to Peru with me. I wasn`t expecting to find them, I simply needed
to burn some energy and thought that I may as well keep an eye out for them. While jogging
on a back road I saw a tree
laying over a portion of road with a Tim Horton`s Roll Up The Rim cup. I stopped and after some minor confliction of
teeth vs. fingers to unroll the cup, I determined that it was a winner. Somehow
a free doughnut more than made up for the lost gloves. Maybe good things happen
to people who least expect it because they are simply content and aren`t asking
for any more in life. I was told I would always be
materialistically fulfilled in life, which, at first I thought was ironic because
I`m quite a minimalist. Someone pointed out at me that maybe that is why. Maybe
I am so lucky with where I am living and my job is because I`m not looking for
them to be such a huge part of who I am, they are not my identity.
You cannot rely on one thing to be your whole happiness. I
will not rely on one person, event, aspiration or object to be my single source happiness.
Sure I have goals of marathons, East Coast adventures, traveling and tattoos,
but I also make sure that I enjoy my day-to-day life and my bad days do not signify
a bad life. I will not let those bad times cast a shadow on those amazing days.
Someone else came to my desk asking about a T4. He noticed
my untouched scratch ticket and mentioned winning the lottery. I told him good
luck and admitted that I hadn’t scratched the ticket yet because the moment didn't feel quite right. He smiled and agreed with me in that he too was hanging on to his.
The ticket currently resides on my fridge. Maybe I`ll win my $10,000 (towards volunteering internationally) on that perfect day. That day when I appreciate all that I have and it won't really matter if I win it or not because life is good.
Smiles,
Kirstin
Be a fountain, not a drain. - Rex Hudler
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