Identity Theft

I’ve had those five o’clock highs. Those days where I get off work feeling fabulous, because I’ve rocked my work week; managers and supervisors were in silly moods, an employee said thank-you to for the extra work I did. Everything went so smoothly. I walk out of that office thinking, damn, I was made for this job, and I love my life.

And that’s the problem. At any job that I have ever had, my day at work seems to influence my evening at home. Heck, my week at work establishes my weekend. So when I have a bad day at work or a stressful work week my evenings are full of over analysing my job and my weekends comprise of work dreams and 3AM lists; my weekend will be overshadowed by the Monday to come.

I am not just an Office Girl. My career choice is not my identity. I’m an independent women and who enjoys yoga. I am a vegetarian who hikes. I’m a feminist, damnit! I am a runner. I am a wine connoisseur. To the point: I am a running wino. I love thrift-store jungles, Cheesies and country music. And I live to travel. So, when did the success of my job start determining my self-worth?

I've had this conversation with friends time and time again over coffee, wine, giggles and tears. Is this what adulting is because I would much rather care less and not give a shit about my job. And honestly, what's the worst that can happen at work, it's not like I can make a mistake and kill someone like most of my nurse friends.

It drives me nuts that the few error at a job neutralizes, no wait, negates how dedicated and invested I am to that job. I hate that I question my abilities when I am unable to get something done, be it a time problem or simply not knowing the answer. I have this mantra that I use at work: Will this matter in a year? No. It won’t. I honestly believe that I was made to change the world and I have yet to find a job where the work I was passionate in was positively impacting society in such that way.

And yet still my face become visibly flushed, heart palpitations occur and I’m flustered and panic when something happens at work that shouldn’t regardless of the severity of it. I have been That girl who cries at work (nobody wants to be That girl). So, how do I find that work-life balance and stop letting work impact my real life? Let’s just be clear I work to live, so how do I keep my life on those bad days?

-K 

I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding, I drink wine in yoga pants.