I got it from my Mum.

My Mom confidently told me one wine induced evening that God gives every Mother the child they were meant to have. I’m not particularly a religious person, and neither is my Mom, but this observation has stuck with me.

I don’t want to be a Mother. This isn’t a faze, something I will grow out of nor will I change my mind should I meet the right partner. I’m sure I could be a Mother, and with my support system, probably a pretty good one, but I just don’t want to be a Mother. I know I've vocalized this all too regularly on this Blog, and you're probably pretty tired of it, but I'll stop preaching when I stop getting asked when I'm having children, or that one day I'll regret this decision.

But lets just be clear, I have a colossal amount of respect for all the Mothers out there. Most of this comes from finally understanding what it took for my Mom to raise a trio of girls by watching my two sisters as they raise their two girls. 

My nieces are fun to be around and well behaved because my sisters put the time and effort into strategically bringing up well behaved girls who just so happen to turn fun.

Natalie was the first tiny human I've ever cared for, I've never felt a love like that, so I can only imagine the love her Mom feels for her.  I’ll scroll through Facebook and randomly come across photos of Heidi and habitually my heart screams Mine!, thanks to sharing genes with my sister, I feel like that child is a tiny bit mine.

Danika, being my Step-daughter, sporadically calls me Auntie which makes it all the more special when she does. She tattles on me when I don’t use my manners and she also calls me a hippy and is convinced that being vegetarian is contagious, and I’m okay being the weird and fun aunt. The day I left for Aisa, Shawna called me to say goodbye, and her Step-daughter, Willow, was hollering in the background “Don’t forget my elephant” – that kid is going places.

The up-all-nighters and work-life balance is something I can’t imagine doing. How do you prioritize when it’s all priorities? Shawna came up for a visit while Heidi had a cold, and I had a horrible visit - her coughing and wheezing hurt my heart and created such anxiety that I was quite relieved when Dad drove her to the airport. Shawna was composed and calm while my brain was on fire.

Both my sisters have Step-children but you wouldn’t know it. They way they love those girls, truly demonstrates that blood is not an ingredient needed to create or be a part of a family. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by strong, diverse women all my life. So many women role models have influenced and shaped my view of life and my life choices. I so appreciate the role that they've played and how it's impacted the role that I play today; I only hope to make an impact like that throughout my life.

  

My Mom was never really fazed by any of my adult decisions or life choices, but I often wonder if she ever thought she’d have a daughter like me. The thing is, I know that I get my determination from her genes. Through her actions, she’s taught me and my sisters to push the female boundaries, and in-general, question society rather than living between the ordinary lines. Every bit of my, Megan and Shawna’s strong and and independent personality are a direct result of her being our Mother. 

My Mom confidently told me one wine induced evening that every Mother is built to have the child they were given. I believe this about those four girls, my fleet of feminists, because my sisters are spectacular Mothers and I couldn’t imagine how I would have turned out if I didn’t have a Mum like mine.

Kirstin

Mum, I just wanted to say congratulations, I turned out perfectly.