I Do[n’t]

Good Evening,

Megan's Magazine. My Magazine.

After a conversation with an old friend, we've concluded that everyone around me is getting married. It’s like freakin’ Noah’s Ark, where couples from various socioeconomic classes, sexualities, religions, backgrounds and heritages are pairing up and boarding the boat christened "marriage". The only similarities these diverse twosomes’ share are their age range –My age range. I don't think I'll ever get married, I'm choosing the raft rather than the boat.

My Love.

I’m not a broken or bitter soul, I’m not sure I will find someone who will share my gipsy lifestyle. I’ve got a lot of crazy going on. I’m a minimalist who wants to see the world; I work to travel and I don’t see that ever changing. My dog hates people. But this isn’t the point of this caffeine-induced thought. What’s the value in marriage? Let’s say I do find that person who can, not only withstand me, but love my vegetarian, travel-happy, hippy, feminist ways. Suppose he adores my anxious dog, and say he can deal with my angry/happy crying and angry/happy sisters.  What’s the value in getting married in the twenty-first century?

I loved this day.

Don't get me wrong, I support people’s desire for marriage; I think I was more excited than anyone when Justin told me he was finally purposing to Megan – I’ve been sending them optional wedding songs (which have bee shot down) for over a year now. I’ve proudly been a both a maid of honor and a bridesmaid. I can't wait for Amber and Steve to have their Balinese wedding, I'm their biggest fan.  But I just don’t think it’s for me, I just don't understand what it means.

 Carol has one of the most inspirational relationships.

To me, it seems that people get married because they believe they want to be with that person for the rest of their lives, or in some cases even beyond that. But people also believe in divorce. According to Statistics Canada, about 38 per cent of all marriages that took place in 2004 will end in divorce by 2035. I support divorce: don’t be together if it's going to be unhappily ever after. When there’s more bad than good, I think it’s time to go your separate ways. But ultimately, aren't we saying these vows ‘to death do us part’ when what we really mean is "I want to be with you, until I don’t"?

I feel I have to constantly expand on my lifestyle choice, so now I need help understanding yours. When you think of  a marriage, what does that mean, and more importantly, what does marriage symbolize?

Kirstin 

Maybe some girls aren't  meant to be tamed. Maybe they are supposed to run wild until they find someone, just as wild, to run with. - Carrie, Sex in the City

The Luckiest Girl in Town

Good Morning,

The stairs to the Natural Path

While in Cuzco after trying out several strong local drinks, myself and two American's wondered up an alleyway of stairs and came upon a small house with a dog laying on the front step as well as a sign that read in broken English Today's Special: Cacao Tea Readings. Exhausted and tipsy we went inside to what turned out to be something like a natural foods store. We purchased some homemade granola bars and leggings. I came back to this place a week later on my own and sat down with a plump Peruvian woman as she answered my five questions that she she read from my dried Cacao Leafs. She told me that materialistically I would always prosper, my school and career would merge together shortly and in a year something in my life would blow up which would lead me to meet my soul mate. The one thing that came from this, that has been embedded in my memory, other than always calling me Lady (ask another question, Lady), what that I am blessed. No one has ever told me that in such a simple and forth coming manner and I can't help thinking how so very true that is.

Don't get me wrong I've had my share difficulties. I've lost money, gained stolen tires and lost my grounding from a result of twisted morals and low iron levels; I've questioned my identity and life path - on several occasions. I have had to decide what my job means to me and accept that I couldn't provide what my job needed out of me. I've sacrificed family ties and I've chosen my dog over love ones, more than once. I've hurt people, broken an arm, broken my car and broken my heart. I've justified poor decision making with strong alcohol. I've disappointment colleagues, strangers and quite simply shit the bed. I've changed my mind which has in turn changed others' lives and then quite suddenly changed my mind back again. I've taken advantaged of family members and ex-boyfriends. I'm addicted to coffee and Cheesies, and crying comes along with every emotion. I've done week long bouts of 3am list making sessions, regretted moments to the point of nauseousness and I have small breasts that are in no way genetic. Essentially I am a sunshine mixed with a hurricane.


But today, it's ten o'clock in the morning on a Monday and I got back from a four kilometer snowshoe with my dog on a beautiful acreage that I call home. I pealed off my sweaty clothing and took a dip in the hot tub.  I very recently fell into a HR/Payroll job that I look forward to growing in, however, ethically I feel my values match more to a stripper's position than my company (which is a Sawmill). Financially things are shockingly coming together, and for the first time in my life I have a two-year plan (baby steps, Kirstin). Although no one is on my group benefits' plan, there is certainly no lack of love in my life - People have been kind to me everywhere I am and I couldn't be more grateful. I am so blessed.

I'm forgiving more because being angry at people takes too much energy. I'm working on finding solutions for those things that stress out at work because really, it won't matter in a year. I'm politely ending relationships, interactions and even contact with those who breed negative energy; I'm my own worst enemy even without those bad vibes. I've created a stop-doing list. I'm finding roots by volunteering again and doing the Brazilian Butt Workouts which are both making me feel better. I'm trying to be kind rather than being judgmental and my goal is to be actively more thankful.

I know we've all have hardships, bad days and hellish moments, but isn't there more good than bad in our lives? Shouldn't we all be appreciating it so much more?

Smiles,

Kirstin

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm Down. It's all funny. - Joan Rivers.