A Love like theirs

She posted a photo of the two of them on their wedding day, and oh, what a gorgeous photo it was – straight out of Pinterest, I’m sure, only this time I knew the couple and I knew their love story, and it wasn’t a picture Pinned on some Secret Board in a moment of hysteria for a future I’ve never thought about. But it wasn’t that honest pose that caught my attention and took my breath away. It was the caption beside it.

And then there’s that other Bride I’m friends with.
Luckily, I’ve swaggered in and out of their life each time I came back to Calgary and I had the pleasure and envy of hearing about their progress of love, over quick but in-depth visits to their Sunny Side apartment; a place in which, for the first time ever, I felt I could live quite happily in Calgary, should I live in that area*. Some of my favorite catch ups had to be a late night visit over Cuban Coffee and the full day of mimosas and adult Christmas cookie fananza, where I first learned about how their love tale began when they found each other in Asia and then found that they were both Calgary natives. I, myself was in Asia when I scrolled across their Facebook engagement Photo. Naturally, it took place outside of Canada, as only travel soul mates could ensure. It was a beautiful day in NYC where her smile was as bright as his eyes. This was one of the few times I was truly thrilled for a wedding. As excited I was on seeing the photo, it was the caption that gave me butterflies.

And then there was the sister, who gave me a brother in-law who is more family than my own half brother, as cruel and honest as that is, I’ll still say it. Despite him confiding to me that he planned on proposing on our family ski trip those few years ago, I was still dancing in the living room, when Megan entered the room and blurted "So this just happened" and gallantly reached her left hand into the sky. This time, it was me who posted the pic and the comments, with so much love.

This is when I intervene this post with my feeling about soulmates and real love. I’m not sure I believe I’d ever find my Forever partner in crime. I’m a hard lady to please, who is selfishly independent and my single hood wasn’t a status that I was willing to give up too easily. I would say it’s comparable to women whose top identity is being a mother, where mine is being single, independent... wild - and oh do I ever wish I was being dramatic in this retrospect. I also think as humans we change drastically throughout our lives, what are the odds of us changing in the same direction as our partner? I’m a nomadic, hippy where airports make me travel-sick and my goal is to make memories all over the world. So, who in the hell is going to tie that shit down, let alone try?

And then enters the Hunter. The one who has shown me that I can calm that travel bug with adventures in my own country, in my own backyard, even.  We took a quick trip to Jasper where we spent a couple hours walking around the canyons while drinking Budweiser beer amongst the Asian tourists. The best part was when he farted and quickly admitted he didn’t think it would be so loud. I roared with laughter (he knows about my blog, so I guess we’ll find out if he reads it). I'm talking hands bracing knees, belly laughter, tears in eyes.  But, my favorite memory thus far has been him picking me up from work (with Hugo in tow) and heading to some nearby waterfalls. The guy built a campfire while I ‘fished’. He insisted that it was not fishing season (it was hunting season) while I insisted that he was wrong. And, I was wrong. We had vegetables and some strangely addictive canned fish around the fire while the sun quickly disappeared. I was so cold and so satisfied with my life choices, and this feeling hasn’t really changed since that day he wooed me in his cousin’s vegetable garden. And so this weekend I met his family and was introduced to his people. Those people who helped shape him into the kind, loud and clever guy he is. The people who I would love to one day consider my own people. The guy who has talked me into trusting him by taking away some of my burdens and some of my control; the first guy I’ve ever met who has been the one to push me to keep me wild, while I pushed back to keep him safe.

And so I do know that if soulmates are real, it should be based on a love like theirs: the three examples above. I want a time when I was so sure that I loved him the most, it was actually only the beginning. And yet, unlike the Bride and her intercontinental love story, despite being on three continents and to eight countries, perhaps, it could be that all this time it was the the guy who kissed me on the dance floor in his small town three years ago, and yet it still took a combination of sushi and magic (and payroll training) for his sister, who is randomly and yet quite naturally a fellow Payroll Girl, to once again point me back in his direction. So, I've given up my single status, but I'm still unsteady on my thoughts and on my feet about the idea of soulmates, and I'm more an advocate for divorce than I believer in marriage. I am also sure I'll be going to Europe come June with a return flight to here, to the guy who told me he likes crazy, when I confided in him all of mine.

Kindly,

Kirstin

I'll keep you safe, you keep me wild.

*despite numerous nesting failures over a seven year duration in Calgary.