All fall down

 

It’s safe to say that I’ve done a bad job on winterizing my life. Two night ago I was wide awake at 3am coming up with strategies on how I’m going to get enough wood, which is my main source of heat, to keep my house, my dog and myself warm for this very Northern season. A winter that typically lasts. Eight. Months. - But hey, I got the hot tub up and running!

The next morning my phone vibrates, and a very dear friend texts me and tells me that she will be receiving a severance package. The ever declining Albertan economy has forced my mom to take reduction in work hours, which she can survive off of, for now. My friend tells me she needs to take a trip to Alaska, as a loophole, as her permanent residency is in jeopardy (admittedly, the Alaska text message was inappropriately funny at the time). There’s the Bott family who lost their three children due to the fact that they were simply children being children. Those parents will feel horrible about every future happy event they incur for the rest of their lives, because to them, that means they have found a way to move forward in life without their daughters. A farming accident may have killed those girls, but guilt will kill those parents. They need support, not criticism.  And suddenly the firewood debacle seems quite minor.

I should be a more available. So many close friends and family members are quietly fighting with their own daemons. People are frantically treading to keep their head above the water, defeated from the adversity of life. And this is all done in private. We do not discuss our life hardships or battles. We do not hang our dirty laundry for the entire world to see and to judge. No, friends, we suffer and struggle in silence. We do not confess that life is, actually quite horrible at the moment, we especially do to not come clean about the mistakes that have created this difficult time; not until it’s overcome, anyway. Not until there is 20/20 hindsight and a moral to this event.

I’ve have had my own calamities in life and I wouldn’t have overcome them without being able to fall apart and have such an amazing support group to hold me together until I was able to mend myself. So, this is me being available. This is me actively offering to be your rock and help send out the positive energy. I provide support and empathy in every way I can and most importantly, without judgement. You can contact me and connect with me in any means available and I will help you put yourself back together, because we all fall down.

Kirstin 

 Maybe I love too much and maybe I show too little. - R.M Drake