The mentor and the judge.

There are a number of people I genuinely respect and admire. I would go as far to say that they help shape and create my bold disposition. Simply said, I am who I am, because they are who they are.

Some random and notable figures, are, in no particular order:

My ex’s sister who was smart, pretty and nice. It is still one of the hardest things to do: sever ties with your ex-partners family. I really look up to an old SMART colleague. She was amazing at what she did and had this no-bullshit attitude. I hope to find a job where I emit as much passion towards it, as she did her job, every single day. There’s also this girl, whom I respect of so much. 

I also met a charismatic and carefree girl during my travels. She told me she was surprised, being that I was a Feminist, that I did had Brazilian wax (a casual conversation, no less) as it conformed to the desire of men wanting young girls. I was more surprised that she referred to me as a Feminist than the theory, which made sense, too. She taught me so much more than this, but we went our separate ways quite harshly as I, as my sister and I like to say, went to Peru and came back a whore (another story, another time). She wasn’t at all supportive of this decision either. Still, I really admire her charismatic and carefree personality.

There’s also a current colleague who is enduring a family illnesses, while at the same time providing for her family. In addition, she is continuing to kick ass at her job (in a male dominated environment) and is still lovely enough to bring me coffee in the morning. I’m not sure where she gets her strength from, but I’m simply baffled. I’m lucky to have find such a strong woman mentor in my life.

These are only a small sample or my large collection of the people whom have helped shape my life, and not to be cheesy, but have provided me strength when mine ran out, and supported me in ways they and I could never imagine.

I suppose, with all the admiration that goes towards my mentors, admittedly, I judge people. I judge their decision to ‘cave in’ and buy a house rather than travel like they said they’d do. I judge their choice of boyfriend. Hell, I judge their groceries at the checkout line when someone’s opted for ice cream rather than lettuce: I’m a Judgy-McJudgerson. 

With those people I adore, I find it’s because some aspect of their personality or something from their life inspires me to be a better person, a better me. But those people I judge, those people I frown upon, I critique their life choice because I can’t fathom why they would make such a stupid decision, but mostly, I guess it’s because I’m worried that I could have made that very same decision, which would have been horrible mistake for me. Key point: me. I was so busy critiquing my truly dear friend’s decision to buy a new car when my sister clearly pointed out that she is investing her money in something she deems necessary. That comment was like smack upside the head. It made me realize that although these life choices would wipe out my lifestyle, it doesn’t mean I have to be goddamn judgy and hard on other people’s life choices and maybe I can learn something. And perhaps I could show a little goddamn respect. So, I’ve been trying to do that: show a little goddamn respect.

Kirstin

When you throw dirt you loose ground.