The lessons she'll teach.

I've really never have a deep spiritual reason for hiking the Camino. I'm not pondering life, fixing myself or trying to get into shape - I'm happy with this ass of mine. I've quite simply been drawn to this trek, pulled to this path, this adventure has been calling my heart and shoes to join the mounds of people and take on the journey. And already I've realize that the Camino is has been waiting for me just as long as I've been waiting to walk it, because it's got some things to teach me.

I dropped my 13lbs backpack on the conveyor belt at the airport and look up at the Hunter, he's not feeling well, he admits and I suggest it's because he took the brunt of my butterflies for me, because I'm surpringly feeling just fine. We say our goodbyes and I walk towards the airport security goes and away from the security of the guy who is comfortable enough to let me figure myself out, outside of us. 

It's 9am in London and I'm so jetlaged I want to puke. For the next 48 hours everything seems impossible and chaotic. Any confidence I had was left on Canadian soil. You see, I'm am not a brave person. I'm questioning my whole trip. I don't even have a hostel for my first night in Europe. I'm second guessing what the fuck I'm doing on international soil. So I do it all scared. Thanks to some London friends and a brother in law and airport WiFi we find a place for me near Buckingham Palace. I hop on the train to Victoria Street and make quick friends with some American ladies and we joke about the non existence of global warming. I find pieces of my confidence and bits of my groove. 

Within my 24 hour stint in London I learn it has different currency and outlets than the rest of Europe (incert Quebec joke here). I almost miss my flight to France due to forgetting that I'm no longer in a small town domestic airport that reminds me of an old warehouse. No, I'm going to an international airport that gives me sensory overload due to mounds of people and stores. But thankfully money solves all problems including a fast track through security and I show up at my gate sweaty and one bottle of sunscreen lighter thanks to liquid restrictions  (don't worry I paid 17 pounds for a new bottle in France, FML).

Just when I think my crazy can calm we land in rain and a lacking train due to a landslide. I make fast friends with the guy who sat behind me and we share a cab into Sain Jean Pied da Port, the starting place of the Camino. 

As soon as my feet touch the Camino my crazy subsides. It's gently raining and I couldn't be happier. I walk alone and talk out load as someone in blue follows my tracks. The landscape is beautiful of rolling hills and historic houses, my ass hurts going both up and down the hills and I know I'm exactly where I need to be. I'm calm.

I confidently press past my destination and pay for it later. I soon realize I'm in short supply of water and the back of my knee hurts.  I continue to talk outloud to keep myself calm. There's a water station in an hour and it's not hot out. This is a really good lesson, I reason with myself, a lesson to not be so dumb. The water station appears, but it appears there's no water. I finally find the courage to look into my backpack and at my camo-back. Slight relief sets in, as I've still got half a liter and only 2.5 km's to go. No relief comes from my knee, though. The fog gets heavier and I munch on my pepperoni and follow the yellow markers (I'm carnivoring it hard and will probably poop my pants in the process. I should have prepared my legs and stomach, Megan reminds me). Finally I see the sign for Roncevaux.

The following morning,  I make fast fiends with three Americans  and we jive perfectly. We chat away the ten kilometers and I fully take in the views. As we stop for a cafe con Leche, it takes everything to admit that I'm hostelling here for the night. My body needs a rest and I need to overcome this jetlag. I'm still incredibly leary of this long trek and my abilities, but I know I need to respect myself if I'm going to even attempt these 800KM.

I'm not sure why my heart was so set on this adventure. My good friend said I'm exactly ready for the Camino for this is the most perfect timing, and I believe there is so much truth to that. I've got so many more lessons to learn with this adventure of mine, regardless of where I end up.

A Pilgrim

Without being scared you won't have a chance to be brave.